Hostile Traveler

Jetlag is one of those things that is difficult to explain if you’ve never been through it. Hong Kong is +13 hours from what I’m used to (okay, +12 hours now that the time has changed), so imagine turning your world upside down. Being awake when you’re normally sleeping, trying to sleep when you’re normally awake - it’s a bit confusing to your body to say the least. I remember someone saying once that your soul can’t keep up with the speed of a jet, and it takes a few days to resume its place inside you. Judging by the way I feel today, I think that may be true.

The problem is with the smallest, earliest part of the brain - the lizard brain. This is the part that controls the most primal of things - hunger, sex drive, and so on. You can prove this by having someone throw something at your head. Notice that you try to tuck your head down inside your body even though it’s not physically possible? That’s right - you’re descended from a turtle. The lizard brain is also what makes me do stupid things like eat food as soon as it’s put in front of me regardless of how horrible the burns are gonna be, and the reason I feel like I need to lay on a warm rock in the morning until I wake up.

But I digress - the main thing the lizard brain is responsible for is the circadian rhythm - your internal clock. It’s what keep tracks of what is day and what is night. The best way to reset the lizard clock is by going outside as much as possible, which helps the lizard understand what day and night ought to be. Think of it as a warm spongy solar-powered Casio watch.

Now, the problem with this theory is that it was pissing rain all day today. I was able to persuade the lizard to venture out, but he gets rather cranky when he’s wet. I had to run an errand today - namely, to pick up a bunch of UK power cables and a network switch. The place to pick up this stuff is called Sham Shui Po, and it’s chaos.

Social commentary: there are way too many freaking people in Hong Kong. That is all.

Sham Shui Po is part yardsale, part electronics maket from hell, part geek heaven. Between the outdoor stalls and the indoor places, you can find damn near anything that blinks, buzzes, or beeps. The vendors carry anything from ancient computer junk to state-of-the-art digicams and mp3 players, and oftentimes five stalls in a row are selling the exact same shit at the exact same prices. Take a look at the outdoor part below:

Something to point out aside from the maddening crowd: note the bamboo on the building on the left. In lieu of metal staging set up to repair/construct buildings, in Hong Kong they use bamboo - even when they’re building skyscrapers. it’s the craziest thing to see a 50 story building wrapped in bamboo, but apparently it works.

There are times when I travel that I feel like I’m in some sort of “Where’s Waldo” alternate world because I always seem to find myself in places where I’m the only foreigner to be seen. Maybe I’ll show up in some kids book here called ‘Spot the Gweilo’ or ‘Find theYeti’ or something.

It’s hard to express with a photo just how cramped this place was. It’s called ‘Golden Computer Center’ and it’s jammed with stalls selling random computer stuff. If you’re one of those people that doesn’t like being bumped into, this place is maddening. I’m one of those people, so I spent a lot of the time chewing on my lip so I didn’t start throwing people. I don’t really want to cause a scene, plus I’m sure some of the people know Kung Fu and shit and would beat my ass. But, it’s worth suffering for if you want to see the stuff that we won’t get in the states for another 6 months. Did you know the next generation of cellphones will come in suppository form? You heard it here first.

One last bit before I wrap up. I’m overtired, so I may be the only one to find this funny. On the way back to the hotel tonight I swung by the local Kwik-E-Mart to pick up some provisions. One of the things I got was a bag of some-sort-of-BBQ flavored chips. I’m trying to decipher the back, but I think it has something to do with Mr. Potatohead and his illegitimate Chinese children. I’ll leave it to you to work it out as a homework assignment.

Real work starts tomorrow. Yay.