Hostile Traveler

As I mentioned, I’m back in Sydney now, but I wanted to get caught up with what I’ve been doing for the past few days. The short answer is playing salesguy, which always makes me feel like I need a shower afterwards. Still, it’s looking like we may have some business in Perth with a couple of the largest companies here, so I’ll keep on scrubbing harder in the shower and crying myself to sleep.

On Thursday, my afternoon meeting got pushed to Friday afternoon, so I wound up with an unexpected bit of free time. So, I took a ferry across the Swan River to South Perth in order to check out the Perth Zoo. After spending so much time with sales weasels, I wanted to check out the real thing.

The zoo itself was nicely done, and it was nearly empty so I basically had the place to myself. They do a great jon with the whole”natural” thing, and all of the walkways are surrounded by bamboo and tall grasses, which helps with isolating it even further from the sounds of the city around it. The only unfortunate thing was that apparently it was naptime for the animals, so all I saw of some things were a tail sticking out from behind a rock or something. Really, I think zoos only have about half the stuff they claim to - they just have fake tails and paws and stuff that they leave around to mess with you.

There’s one area where you can walk amongst the animals, though they will pretty much have nothing to do with you. Apparently I don’t look like something they want to eat, mate with, or attack, so I’m basically ignored. Kind of like with other people…hmm. Anyways, my first real roo sighting:

I won’t bore you to death with tons of zoo photos…I mean, after all - we’ve all been to the zoo. But I did want to post up a few. This one is of a baby orangutang playing around. I really don’t understand how people don’t think we’re related to primates when you see how they interact with one another. Orangutangs particularly exhibit so many traits that just look human.

Last one - the official mascot of the Hostile Traveler - the Tazmanian Devil. These guys are foul, evil-tempered little bastards that don’t get along even with each other. Brings a tear to my eye. What you don’t see is that the two in this enclosure apparently hate each other, which is normal. Each one has bites all over their asses from where the other one would take a nip out of them. Add to that a bunch of hissing and growling and you have what looks to be a very loving relationship…or something.

The zoo has one section that is from when the zoo was originally constructed in the late 1800s, and you can really see the difference in how people view zoos. It used to be that they were just a place to collect animals, with no concern about their well-being. Now, zoos do their best to give the animals a decent environment in which to live, and to keep them occupied and happy. Then again, I’m sure they’d much rather be out in the wild if they had their choice.

Wandering back from the zoo, I came across what may be the greatest Pub name ever: The Lucky Shag.

There’s this other thing I saw a bunch around Perth, and apparently it’s all around Australia - the drive through Bottle Shop (aka liquor store). Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is a really really bad idea?

After the zoo and the walk around the city in the glorious weather (85, sunny, breezy, dry), I met up with Conor for some dinner. We had intended to eat light, maybe Thai, but (surprise), we wound up in an Irish pub called Durty Nellie’s. I know you’re all shocked. Next mornafternoon was solid with meetings and I had to make a mad dash to get to my flight. Good thing the security at Perth Airport is basically nonexistent. So with that I bid farewell to Perth and move on to Sydney once again.

For those of you keeping track, I head back to Sydney for the weekend this afternoon. I’m hoping to spend some time outside of the city in the Blue Mountains, but I’m still figuring it out. But, hey - I have another long plane ride to work out an itinerary I suppose.

Short update today, but I’ll fill in my trip to the zoo yesterday later on. (Yes, seriously. I may not like people, but animals are cool.)

Okay…I’m in Perth. But that’s the end of the story, not the beginning. Now that I have some actual bandwidth (both network-wise and mentally), let me tell you what went on last evening first.

Conor (my coworker from Melbourne) and I were walking back to the hotel after our meetings and he turned to me and said, “I’m going to take you to Manly tonight!” Now, Conor is a big Irish dude - about my height, but grew up playing serious levels of rugby, so he’s just a big rough guy. Now, I wasn’t sure if “taking me to Manly” was some sort of Australian code for an unpleasant evening for me involving a gag, so I asked him to clarify. Turns out Manly is the name of a suburb across the harbour from Sydney center. Whew.

To get there you take a ferry across. Now, ferries run to all sorts of places and the system is very convenient and relatively cheap. They also provide the great views that I mentioned. First, yet another Opera House pic, but this time with a paddlewheel boat (is that what they’re called?) in front of it:

And a view back to the city center as we were heading away. This is about four seconds before it started pouring.

Manly itself is a nice little beach community that is full of surf shops, tourist trinket crap, and bars. We wound up hiding from the rain in a pub overlooking the ocean and eating some proper pub grub - pies. Pies are just what they sound like - crust containing some random meat o’ the day. Not exactly healthy, but tasty nonetheless. BTW - the randon meat o’ the day was chili beef…I think. Hey - I’ve eaten kebabs off the back of a truck in Korea, so I’ll be fine. It’s good to test your immune system from time to time. I think.

The rain kind of put a damper on things, but it ended after dark. We spent some time at a cool waterfront German place called Bavarian Bier Cafe where things went rapidly downhill. Damn Irishmen. But the fun thing is that Conor is perhaps more of a miserable prick than I am, and spent the night making fun of whomever dared sit near him. The great thing about hostility is if you do it right, it’s really quite funny. Sarcasm rocks….too bad more people don’t get it.

On the way back to the ferry, I spotted a great sign that I had to take a picture of in front of a hotel. It’s called ‘Manly Paradise’. Alas, no vacancy.

As I mentioned, today was a travel day from Sydney to Perth - 5 hours and (I stand corrected) 2 timezones. More props to Qantas - during the movie they came around with creamsicles. R0×0rz. Anyways, uneventful flight but one thing to note is how much easier it is to deal with the airports here. You don’t need any ID. Anywhere. I still can’t get over this. And the security people aren’t total fuckwads. Just seems very wrong.

Perth is a much smaller, more compact place than Sydney is, but it’s also a very attractive place. I had a bit of free time this afternoon, so I went walking around to get a feel for the place.

Okay, first - I have yet to see a kangaroo in real life or any kangaroo meat products. Okay, I didn’t see a place selling ‘Roo Jerky’ and ‘Gator Jerky’, but I didn’t try it. I’m also a little torn as to whether or not I even want to try it. I may be visiting a place where you can hang out with roos, wombats, koalas, and that sort of stuff, so I’d feel kinda bad eating em. Then again, I like cows too, and they’re pretty damn tasty. Moral dilemna…I’ll get over it. Anyways, here’s the closest thing I’ve seen so far:

The people in Sydney are obsessed with fitness, so I’m surprised they even let Americans in. Maybe they show them to the children as an example of what can happen if they’re not good or something. Anyways, that obsession seems to be in full swing here. There’s a very nice area bordering a park that sits atop a hill. I walked up the road to get there, which was reasonably steep, but there’s a staircase that will take you up as well. This is apparently a very popular spot for the locals to run stairs. Not for me, but then again, it’s like a stairmaster with far better views.

Atop the hill you get a nice view of the Perth skyline.

After the walking excursion and dinner overlooking the city, Conor and I went to an area of the city full of shops, bars, pubs, and so on. Our kind of place. We were well-behaved tonight, only stopping a couple of times, but there’s a rocking-albeit-touristy place called Carnegie’s (a chain also in places like Taipei), the Belgian Beer Cafe (insert Homer drool here) and an Asian-Tiki-ish themed place called Tiger Lil’s. Check out the website for the last one at least to see the decor - cool looking place.

I tend to have kind of surreal experiences when I travel for some reason, and tonight was no exception. At Tiger Lil’s, sitting at the bar, they’re showing the old Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles cartoons. Why? I have no freaking idea. Very strange..

Well, time to crash, but I leave you with the view from my hotel overlooking the Swan River.

Last night after working for the day doing sales calls and the like, I jumped on a ferry in Circular Quay and headed across the harbour to a place called, of all things, Manly. The jokes are almost too easy with that one, and most involve chaps or something. Anyways, the ferry system here is very good, and while I’m sure the locals get sick of having to ride across, it’s a pretty amazing trip for tourist types. I have pictures but it’ll have to wait until I get a higher-bandwidth connection.

Today, I head across the continent to Perth, which is on the west coast of Australia. It’s a much smaller city than Sydney, and it looks like it’s going to be a bit warmer. Sydney has been rainy, hot, and humid for the most part, so I guess we’ll see what happens in Perth. I stay there until Friday, when I fly back to Sydney for the weekend before heading home.

Well, off to the airport for a nice short 5 hour flight. Funny how your perspective changes over the years…

First full day in Sydney, most of which was spent doing work stuff. It sucks, but after all, that’s the reason I’m here. As much as I’d like for the company to fly me places for vacations, I’m pretty sure it’s not going to happen. This week is a bit easier than teaching, however, because I’m doing sales calls with our local sales weasel Conor. Now, you may ask yourself how such a misanthropic prick as myself can do sales, and the answer is that I’m a really good actor. Really, that’s what sales is all about because noone can be on and happy and bouncy all of the time unless they have an addiction to some sort of illegal substance. I’m pretty good at it and I haven’t had to resort to sniffing glue yet, though some sales guys have almost driven me to that point. Luckily, Conor is a good guy so it should be a fun week getting things ramped up over here.

Before I forget, you may be wondering about the title. It’s a slang term I heard that I thought was kind of funny. Kangaroo is something we view as being a cute fuzzy critter, but apparently it’s pretty common to eat them here. One of the ways they do so is in the form of sausages, which the Irish call ‘bangers’. Add an Australian accent, and you have ‘Kanga Bangas’.

After the meetings today, I had a bit of time before sundown to check out the area I’m staying in, which is very close to Circular Quay. That’s the area that contains lots of ferries, the Harbour Bridge, and the Sydney Opera House. In between rain showers I was able to take a few pictures while walking around. First, a view of the area I’m in:

The Harbour Bridge celebrated its 75th anniversary today, so happy birthday or something. I guess last night they had a crazy light show off the bridge, but I got in too late to catch it. Locally they refer to it as the Coat Hanger because of its shape.

Probably the most photographed thing in Sydney, the Opera House from a few different angles:

I really like going on sails because it’s a very peaceful way of going through the water. Something about not having the roar of a motor to distract you adds to the experience. Anyways, I’m looking into a schooner or something that goes out on the harbour for this weekend, and this is one possibility:

And finally, and area called The Rocks, which is (I think) the oldest area in Sydney. It’s full of shops, pubs, and restaurants, so will likely require further investigation.

I didn’t have a lot of time before it started raining, so I’ll have to go back some clear night to catch some images of the skyline. This is just the immediate area too, so I’m going to try to get a bit further away from the city center as the week goes on.

So far so good…now if it weren’t for that pesky work thing…