Hostile Traveler

While I have a bit of bandwidth here at LAX, I figured I’d upload a few of the photos I took in Sydney at night.

I’m about to board the long flight to Los Angeles, then on to Boston, so I think it’s about 22 hours of pure bliss in the air. That far is always a bit rough on my body, so we’ll see how I’m feeling once I get there.
It figures the weather would clear up when I’m leaving, but at least late last night I was able to wander around and finally get some good night shots of the harbour. I’ll post them when I get on a real connection.
Well, boarding has begun, so wish me luck…

I got up painfully early this morning (daylight savings was last night) to take a tour of the Blue Mountains outside of Sydney. This was one of those organized coach tour things that I always go into hoping will be different, but they’re always the same: a bus full of old people bitching about inane things. Most of them had come off of a giant cruise ship that docked in Sydney yesterday, and this was part of their vacation package or something. Then there was the worst part - they were mostly Americans. I’m so ashamed of my country every time I encounter tourists abroad because American tourists bring new meaning to the phrase ‘obnoxious ignorant assholes’. When I travel someplace, I do my very best to blend in and embrace the culture around me (okay, aside from being a yeti in some places). Eat the same foods, be polite to people, observe good manners, that sort of thing. But most of the Americans I meet abroad seem to be shocked that things aren’t done they way the expect everywhere they go. You don’t speak English? You drive on that side of the road? You expect me to eat that? There really ought to be a course that Americans have to go through before they’re let out of the country - ‘How not to be a fucktard 101′. Most would fail.

The one thing that really helped the situation by adding shock, horror, and humor to the situation were the pair of 25ish French lesbians that made a point of constantly holding hands, kissing, and cuddling with one another on the bus. The expressions on the old folks’ faces were just priceless.

So why did I do this knowing what the situation would be (minus the lesbians)? Well, it’s a convenient way to see some things that are a bit out of the way. I really wanted to get out into the countryside a bit, and the Blue Mountains looked like a great place to visit.

First stop was…wait for it…a zoo. But not just any zoo - the Featherdale Wildlife Park is a truly amazing place that encourages interaction with some of the animals. So, they have handlers walking around with snakes, koalas, wallabies, and so on, and there are large open pens where you can reach in and pet the animals, or even walk amongst them. For an animal lover, this is a very cool experience. Over the course of the hour or so I was there, I was able to pet kangaroos, wallabies, wombats, koalas, and even a couple of very tame birds. I’ll only subject you to a few more pics because I know I’ve kind of overdone the animal themes lately. Don’t worry - I’ll keep the boudoir sheep photos to myself.

Feeding one of the wallabies hopping around the place. Yes, it’s an ice cream cone, but it’s filled with what look to be good stuff to eat. BTW - in case you were wondering, kangaroos and wallabies have really nice coats - very soft. And no, I’m not gonna eat one.

First time I’ve ever seen a Wombat close up. Friendly little guys - they do that dog thing when you scratch them where their back leg starts going.

So after the zoo, we stopped at a cliff overlooking the Blue Mountains called Govett’s Leap. There’s a folk story about it being where a guy (Govett) jumped over with his horse and survived the fall, but really, if he had, he’d be an oily smear on the bottom. It’s a long drop. In reality, it’s just named for the first guy to find it. Pretty spectacular views though. The Blue Mountains get their name from the eucalyptus trees giving off oil that dissapates and makes the blue haze you can sort of see hanging in the air. Smells nice tho.

Lunch was in a small village called Leura. This was an opportunity to get the hell away from the old folks for awhile, and I had a nice lunch at a local cafe.

After lunch, we went to a place called ‘Scenic Land’, which may be the absolute worst theme park name ever. Really, it’s a national park that encompasses what used to be the Koloomba Coal Mine and the rainforest that surrounds it in a valley. To get down to the floor of the valley, you take a cable-based railway that runs damn near 90 degrees. It’s hard to describe just how steep it is, but when you’re going down the main part, you’re looking straight out through the roof of the car. Note the sign, btw.

There’s a famous rock formation here called ‘The Three Sisters’ which features prominently in Aboriginal lore. I was going to retell the story but I’ve already forgotten it…something to do with a pissed off spider. Ah well.

On the way back to Sydney, we went through what was the Olympic Park when Sydney hosted in 2000. While most of the buildings have been repurposed, you can see where the landscaping in a lot of areas has gone to hell from disuse. But, I suppose that’s what happens afterwards.

The final bit of the tour ended at the ferry, and I took a river cat (kind of catamaran) back to Darling Harbour where I left behind the old folks. In all, a nice day and a good end to my stay here.

I arrived in Sydney late last night, so I pretty much went out long enough to grab some food and crash. My first observation upon stepping outside for the first time in Sydney was, “Holy fuck it’s humid.” We’re talking the kind of humidity that causes your skin to get condensation on it when you step out from something air conditioned. Then again, the condensation doesn’t really matter because you start sweating your ass off in a few moments anyways.

With hopes of drier air, I headed out of my hotel this morn to be confronted with 90+ degrees, 100 percent humidy. Fuck. Where Perth was pleasant and dry, this was just nasty. But, at least it was sunny out, so I headed over to Darling Harbour, which is where my hotel is this time.

…and another view from the ground. My hotel is the white bowed-out one in the middle, and my room overlooks the harbour. Along the right side are tons and tons of restaurants of all sorts that turn into nightclubs at night. There’s also a couple of large nightclub-only places that attract queues of tarted-up girls. They wouldn’t let me in. I’ll have to try more makeup tomorrow.

I found a place that had sails around the entire harbour, so I signed up for one with the intent of just chilling out in the seabreeze with a margarita and maybe snapping some pics of the sights. But, I had a couple of hours to burn, so I did a bit of shopping and wound up in a kind of strange little zoo-ish place in Darling Harbour. It’s all indoors, but they have stuff like koalas and reptiles and such….and biggest plus - cold cold air conditioning. Sold - I’m in. Besides, it was right across from the salboat’s mooring.

Just a couple more critter pics. First one is a Horned Devil as close as I could get.

And the second is something a little softer - a koala. Looks like a man-eater, doesn’t it?

After a quick walk through the exhibits, it was time for the boat to depart. Know that phrase ‘One is the loneliest number’? Yeah, well, I was the only one that wasn’t a couple getting on the boat. Ah well. So as I’m getting on the boat, as soon as my foot hits the deck, the skies open up. Everyone runs inside the cabin area for cover, and it looks like we’re going through a carwash. But, apparently, the sail must go on, so we do a kind of halfhearted cruise around.

The rain let up long enough for me to snap a few pictures, and I caught one that would have been good if it weren’t for the rain pissing down. You can see the Opera House, Harbour Bridge, and Fort Denison in the shot, along with a ginormous cuise ship docked at Circular Quay behind the Opera House.

…but then the rain started coming down hard again, so that was that. At least it’s cooler now, but I hope it stops soon. Tomorrow (my last day here) I’m heading out of the city for the day to the Blue Mountains so I can get a taste of what the countryside looks like.

As I mentioned, I’m back in Sydney now, but I wanted to get caught up with what I’ve been doing for the past few days. The short answer is playing salesguy, which always makes me feel like I need a shower afterwards. Still, it’s looking like we may have some business in Perth with a couple of the largest companies here, so I’ll keep on scrubbing harder in the shower and crying myself to sleep.

On Thursday, my afternoon meeting got pushed to Friday afternoon, so I wound up with an unexpected bit of free time. So, I took a ferry across the Swan River to South Perth in order to check out the Perth Zoo. After spending so much time with sales weasels, I wanted to check out the real thing.

The zoo itself was nicely done, and it was nearly empty so I basically had the place to myself. They do a great jon with the whole”natural” thing, and all of the walkways are surrounded by bamboo and tall grasses, which helps with isolating it even further from the sounds of the city around it. The only unfortunate thing was that apparently it was naptime for the animals, so all I saw of some things were a tail sticking out from behind a rock or something. Really, I think zoos only have about half the stuff they claim to - they just have fake tails and paws and stuff that they leave around to mess with you.

There’s one area where you can walk amongst the animals, though they will pretty much have nothing to do with you. Apparently I don’t look like something they want to eat, mate with, or attack, so I’m basically ignored. Kind of like with other people…hmm. Anyways, my first real roo sighting:

I won’t bore you to death with tons of zoo photos…I mean, after all - we’ve all been to the zoo. But I did want to post up a few. This one is of a baby orangutang playing around. I really don’t understand how people don’t think we’re related to primates when you see how they interact with one another. Orangutangs particularly exhibit so many traits that just look human.

Last one - the official mascot of the Hostile Traveler - the Tazmanian Devil. These guys are foul, evil-tempered little bastards that don’t get along even with each other. Brings a tear to my eye. What you don’t see is that the two in this enclosure apparently hate each other, which is normal. Each one has bites all over their asses from where the other one would take a nip out of them. Add to that a bunch of hissing and growling and you have what looks to be a very loving relationship…or something.

The zoo has one section that is from when the zoo was originally constructed in the late 1800s, and you can really see the difference in how people view zoos. It used to be that they were just a place to collect animals, with no concern about their well-being. Now, zoos do their best to give the animals a decent environment in which to live, and to keep them occupied and happy. Then again, I’m sure they’d much rather be out in the wild if they had their choice.

Wandering back from the zoo, I came across what may be the greatest Pub name ever: The Lucky Shag.

There’s this other thing I saw a bunch around Perth, and apparently it’s all around Australia - the drive through Bottle Shop (aka liquor store). Is it just me, or does anyone else think this is a really really bad idea?

After the zoo and the walk around the city in the glorious weather (85, sunny, breezy, dry), I met up with Conor for some dinner. We had intended to eat light, maybe Thai, but (surprise), we wound up in an Irish pub called Durty Nellie’s. I know you’re all shocked. Next mornafternoon was solid with meetings and I had to make a mad dash to get to my flight. Good thing the security at Perth Airport is basically nonexistent. So with that I bid farewell to Perth and move on to Sydney once again.